It started out as a thought Please take care of the cats. It was a mantra that filled my mind, fueled by lack of food and a glass or two of wine. I had been hitting a brick wall for two weeks, trying to analyze my newest grief valley; or at least that’s what I thought it was.
This week I went to Jewish Yom Kippur services. This is the part of the Jewish High Holidays celebration and this particular day is called the Day of Atonement, where we atone for our sins throughout the year and ask ‘God’ for forgiveness for our everyday transgressions – large or small – and promise/vow to do better […]
Robin William’s death was beyond tragic. If I could have been with him I would have told him how I struggled with this myself. I wrote a few blogs about a recent bout I went through. One was a suicide note: After he was gone: Darkest Days. A friend wrote me an imploring e-mail reaching […]
I will smile and some days I will feel happiness, but nothing is the same, or will ever be the same. There is a huge gaping hole in my heart, but I’m the only one who can feel it. I didn’t sign up for this, but this is my new reality…
It’s been 11 months since I touched his hair, smelled the cologne on his shirt traced his fingers with mine.
Today was a good day but (the BUT) I want to post something about what I’m feeling. It is more of an information piece to get you thinking about who you share things with in your life. I had a great day teaching my first class for a new course. I would normally share that […]
It is three months now since he has been gone. I have cried, sometimes totally bereft, but not as often as I did before. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss him. I miss him every day, hour and minute. It just means that life goes on.
Today marks, by the calendar numbers, one month since he died, June 8, 2013. Last week I didn’t cry. Instead of finding solace in not crying I worried my lack of tears meant I wasn’t a good wife/partner. I worried I had cried all the tears I could. What is that saying about Crocodile Tears? […]
Day 3 cont’d.: March 22, 2013 I am tired and lying in bed, but feeling hopeful now that my husband has been admitted to hospital and has a real bed (not on an emerg gurney) and nurses to document his pain and look after him. I hear the familiar beep alerting me to a text […]
My mom wasn’t a hero and didn’t want to be in the limelight, but sometimes she was.